I have been busy with my job with the 3rd largest retailer, finally the holiday season is winding down and I can't help but feel blah. I worked Christmas Eve. Slept most of Christmas day only to return to a 9 hour shift the day after Christmas. I know I went to my sister's house after work on Christmas Eve for the yearly family get together. The kids opened gifts. We ate finger foods.
No turkey. No dressing. The only deviled eggs I ate were the ones the HR manager made for our finger foods dinner at work. I'm coming to loathe finger foods in lieu of holiday dinners.
I didn't cook for Christmas Day, Christmas Eve, I did cook for Thanksgiving, the Sunday after Thanksgiving, that is. I don't feel like there was even a holiday season this year because I was either working or so thoroughly exhausted I barely noticed blinking festive lights, had heard Christmas music every single day since November 1st, it just didn't register.
I had to force my kids to put the Christmas tree up on Christmas Eve. How sad is that? I even threatened to just put their gifts on the table, unwrapped, and forget the whole holiday existed. We have some lights in the front window. Nothing else. I have tons of decorations no one bothered to put up this year because it was only my two sons home. My husband and I were just too tired to care about decorating or celebrating. And I hate that.
I'm not doing this again next year.
This house will be fully decked out for the holidays. Trees, wreaths, lots of red and gold and holiday plaids. I will cook REAL holiday dinners, have friends and family over. Huge piles of gifts under the tree. Candles, lots of candles. Christmas music (of my own choosing)
I know it's about being with family and friends and being happy and healthy, but where did tradition go? We didn't even go to church. We didn't go to any of the Christmas programs we usually do. We went to see the Nutcracker with the school. The boys marched in a Christmas parade with military veterans. Know what was missing in that parade? Santa Claus. How do you have a Christmas parade with no Santa Claus? Where was Santa Claus this year? I didn't see him anywhere near this end of TN. Sure, he was at the mall, 55 miles from here. WalMart and Kmart used to have a little Santa House where Santa sat and had his picture made with the kids. Not this year.
Have we become so very politically correct that kids can't enjoy the holidays themselves for fear of offending someone else? What if that offends me or my kids? Maybe I'm old fashioned. But I'd love to be able to sit around the table fully decked out with Christmas table linens and Christmas dinnerware, bow my head as my husband gives the blessing, then carves into a huge turkey that I spent all night preparing. I'd like to have seen my kids eyes shimmer with anticipation and glee while eyeing stuff stacked under the tree. Instead I slept in. Oh, they waited impatiently for me to wake up. There was some anticipation and glee, but not as much as 'aw c'mon mom getup already!' in their attitude. I'm not upset with them over it, they're just kids, I'm more upset with me.
No one cooked the usual Christmas morning breakfast that has been tradition in this house for twelve years. Instead they waited for me to wake up while my husband slipped around and hid the Wii. Then I had to deal with two very upset kids who'd been promised a Wii, knew I had the Wii, they'd seen it in the car and now... it wasn't there. My husband thought it was funny. I wanted to cry because my kids looked like they were going to cry. They thought we'd had to return because we really didn't' have the money to buy it, but did anyway. I hated that they thought that. All the while, my husband had this evil glint to his eyes, enjoying that they were disappointed. He has a strange sense of humor.
I was mad at myself for going along with it so I finally told them where it was, along with an electronic dartboard they'd seen at a store. I found one like it, just not as expensive. They're happy. I'm happy, but disappointed with this Christmas overall because it never really felt like Christmas. Next year will be better, because, as I said, I'm not doing this again. Retail can kiss my backside.
So here it is, New Year's Eve. I'm off. My husband is at work. My kids are here.
I'm cooking a New Year's Day dinner, but where will I be New Year's Day? Working a 10 hour shift. Hope there's left overs....